At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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