Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
