she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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