I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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