I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This is the high leading the old right now
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
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