Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
