I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize