i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
