I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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