if you like me you must not know who I am
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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