You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
