Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
