Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
