I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
