If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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