Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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