STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
