i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
