I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
