Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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