I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
