So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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