a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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