The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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