it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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