Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
