would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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