Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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