if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
