My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
