if i can run in heels then i can drive
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
