He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
grandma shit on top of the toilet
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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