Plan B is the new Plan A
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
