I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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