Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
