it wasn't lemon gatorade
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
