If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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