Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
