It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize