I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
