Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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