I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
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