ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
