my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
they're like a gay fantastic four
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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