I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
