I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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