I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
