the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
