oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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