I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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