In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
