dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
