he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
