Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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