im drinking this country out of the recession.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
