he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
