weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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