So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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