We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
