okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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