THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize