So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
