i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
