I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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