i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
