3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize
