I showed him my bush... on skype.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
