Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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