can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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