he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
