your parents love me but you hate me
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I look better un-naked...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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