Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
