Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
