He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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