You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
