somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
