My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My room smells like vodka and shame
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize