Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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