Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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