Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize