So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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