i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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