Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
