she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
